Ten Head-Shakingly Weird Apps
The expression “They got an app for that” has become a well-used punchline, thanks to the proliferation of smart phones and the dizzying array of applications you can download and use.
But for every useful GPS, budget minder, or search utility out there, there’s at least three apps that just make you go “Say what?” and question the sense of the average smart phone user (or perhaps the existence of a loving, merciful God).
So here are ten weird apps that are sure to create raised eyebrows, double-takes, or open-mouthed looks of surprise.
Rest assured, these apps are real. And no, there are no guarantees that these apps are actually in any way useful or of benefit to you or mankind in general. If no price is given, it’s free.
Fart Factory (iOS)
For just $1.29, you can have access to 17 different fart noises, or, if you prefer the personal touch, record the sound of your own farts. You can set the app timer, put your phone in some hidden location, and surprise and disgust your friends. And they have colorful names like “Blame Grandma” and “Burrito Aftermath”. Of course they do.
Carrr Matey (Android)
Say the title like a stereotypical pirate, and you get the idea where they’re going with this one. It helps you find your car after you’ve parked and forgot where you left it. It also includes an alarm to remind you when your parking meter is about to expire. Oh dear, this is actually a useful app. Sorry.
Run Pee (iOS, Android)
Have you ever sat in a movie theater, needing to go to the bathroom, but not wanting to miss anything important on the big screen? This app provides you with the best moments when to make a bolt for the bathroom.
Drunk Dial No! (iOS)
For just .99 cents, you can make sure that your night of binge-drinking doesn’t result in you dialing an ex and subjecting them to an incoherent rant. It will block your contact numbers for 48 hours, which is usually sufficient time to sober up.
Are you aware that as you get older, your ears lose the ability to hear high-frequency noises? Conversely, younger humans can hear them just fine, and that’s where this app comes in handy. For just .99 cents, this app will send out a blast of high-frequency sound guarantee to annoy and irritate teenagers. Call it karma. There are also similar apps available for Android, by the way.
Ghost Radar Classic (iOS, Android)
I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost! Your smart phone is equipped with various sensors, you see, and this app allegedly allows you to turn your device into a paranormal activity detector. There are many iterations of this app out there, some of them claiming that the app turns your phone into an EMF (electromagnetic field) detector.
Now you too can have adventures like all of those paranormal researchers on television who explore creepy places all by themselves (and the camera man, and the sound guy, and the gaffer, and the script person, and the caterer), and check out noises that are either the rustlings of the tortured dead, or a very pissed off raccoon. Who ya gonna call?
Pimple Popper (iOS, Android)
This is free for the Android, but somehow costs for iOS. There’s only one question here: why?? Does the world really need an app that lets you pick simulated zits? Seriously? What’s next? A poop app?
OH COME ON! This free app, with a brown color scheme (Seriously??), lets you track your bowel movements. It gives you something to do after you’ve already spent enough time lamenting the fall of Western Civilization.
Hold On (iOS)
No, it’s not what you’re screaming after seeing these apps. The Hold On app measures how long you can press down and hold down the button on the screen. Yup. That’s it. And this stroke of genius costs .99 cents. What’s next? The “Watching paint dry” app?
Watching Paint Dry (Android)
Alright that does it. I give up! It does just what the title says. Apparently it takes 40 minutes for said paint to dry.
Unfortunately, there’s plenty more ridiculous apps out there. Just type “stupid apps” in your search engine and enjoy the show. As for me, I need to take a hot shower and pour myself a good strong drink. Let’s see there be an app for that!